Is it me?

I'm not going to open this blog with a lot of nonsense talk. I'm going to get straight to the point.
I think I push my friends away.
I don't try to. I love my friends. But my friends are always changing. I mean, I have a lot of the same friends as I've always had. But the statuses of my relationships change.
I've always dreamed of a fairy tale life where you grow up with one person and they're your best friend and they're yours...but that just hasn't happened for me...and there's nothing I can do about it. It seems that every time I label someone as my "best friend" I end up pushing them away somehow.
Here is my friend cycle: Friend. Close friend. Best Friend. Close Friend. Friend. And who are you?
On a different, yet same, note...I found out rather recently that nobody was a huge fan of mine in high school. I know that that's in the past and that high school kids are immature and tacky like that, but I do have feelings and it still hurt. Just knowing that part of my life was a lie. That I spent my time trying to impress and be there for people that didn't care about me the way I cared about them.
So that leads me to believe that maybe at some point I was their friend, and they did like me...but maybe I just pushed them away.
I don't know what leads to this. Maybe I'm afraid of someone hurting me first, so I try to make the first move. I don't think that's correct because I hate hurting people. If I know that I'm hurting someone I try to stop it or make up for it. Or maybe it's just because I'm a bad person. I wasn't raised to be a bad person...and I really don't think I am, but I'm not sure there is another explanation for what is happening.
Basically I spend all of my time outside of class with Kevin. I love that. Really I do. The reason I am in a relationship with Kevin is because I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. But it seems that my friends don't like hanging out with "Jordan and Kevin" all the time.
That leads me to my next point.
How do you decide how much time is the right amount of time to spend with your friends vs the time you spend with your significant other?
I really don't know. Like I said, I love spending all of my time with Kevin. But I know my friends want their Jordan back. That's pretty much all there is to say on that topic.
Basically the same thing though...how do you handle your friends that aren't friends with each other? I'm already having to spread my time out between friends and boyfriend...how much else am I expected to do? Part of me wants to tell my friends that they can get over it and spend time together if they want to see me. But then the other part of me just wants to please everyone and try to spend time with every single person individually.

I bring all of this up because I have realized lately that some of my friends don't want to hang out with me as much. And if they don't express it, they just don't talk to me as much. I don't want this to seem like a "pity blog"...it's just what's on my mind lately.

All in all...I'm glad I'm in a relationship. Because if I wasn't, I'm sure I would die a crazy old cat lady.

Been on my mind...

As you may know going to movies is one of my favorite things in the entire world. I like just watching movies at home as well, but actually getting dressed and putting on make up and going to the theatre and paying a million dollars to see a brand new movie just makes me a happy camper. This is what I expect when I go to the cinema. I expect to arrive at the theatre and walk into a nice place where everyone is in their respective lines getting their tickets and popcorn. I expect to pay too much for my tickets, too much for my concessions, and then have to sit in a seat that is too small for my round bottom. While I am sitting in that uncomfortable seat I expect to be surrounded by other excited movie-goers that are ready to enjoy the next two hours of entertainment with me. When the lights dim I expect to be left in a silence so quiet that I can hear my fellow companions breathe in the anticipation for the previews to start. When the previews do get rolling I expect everyone to watch them as if they've never seen them before. Even though I see most previews about 10 times before the movie comes out, there could be someone in that theatre that is just now getting the oppurtunity to see the trailer for the first time. After I hear about the coming attractions I expect the silence to continue through out the entirity of the feature film. Not to say that I don't expect laughs when they are meant to be had, sniffles when they are prompted, and screams when they are extracted, that's supposed to happen if a movie is good enough to deserve them. After the movie is finished I expect everyone to pause for a little bit, take in the film, and then discuss it on their way out to their rides, taking their trash with them.
What I get is another thing entirely.
When I arrive I am greeted by a million children screaming profanities at each other, wearing things that I wouldn't catch a hooker in, with no parent in sight. After a few minutes of trying to figure out if the short, annoying people are actually in line or just gossiping about what Jill and John did last night, I get to buy my tickets. (The ticket prices are one of the things that are expected that actually occur.) My party and I weave in and out of all the kids throwing popcorn around the lobby and get into our assigned theatre. After we sit, waiting for the show to begin, we are surrounded by people that look like they really don't want to be there, like they had better things to do with their Friday nights. After the theatre is filled and the movie is about to start the crowd is pretty unruly, you couldn't hear a lion roar if you had hearing aides. When the previews begin the sound rarely ever quiets down. This annoys me, and I know a lot of people who agree with me, because the previews do happen to be one of the best parts of the movie going experience. But, you know, it's just the previews, I didn't pay for that. So I wait for the feature to start. Once it does, you do still hear a few whispers and giggles for a while. If everything else that had happened wasn't bad enough, you get a group of about 5-8 pre-teens "movie-hopping" into your movie 45 minutes after it started. And they don't come in quietly. Lord no. They come in sounding like a heard of cattle, mooing all the way. After 20 or so minutes, half of them decide they want to see something else and they leave with their tails behind them. Also, no matter how many signs say to "silence your cell phone" there is always a rap song that starts playing in the back of the theatre that you know doesn't belong in the middle of the drama that you are watching. Depending on the age group that is watching the movie, I always hear laughs at the wrong part. I don't know if some people just don't know what funny is, but before they go to a dramatic movie about a mother losing her son they need to figure it out. After the movie is over I continue to take in my surroundings as others jump over the seats, yelling to their friends, and leaving their trash behind on the floor for someone else to pick up.
Recently I went with a couple of my friends to see the Angelina Jolie movie Changeling. She is nominated for Best Actress for this movie so I figured it would be a great movie, and I was correct. The movie was amazing. The only problem was that I watched it at a college movie theatre. You wouldn't think that college students could be that rude. I wouldn't think it. If you walked into that movie theatre while that movie was going on you would have thought that there were elementary students scattered in the crowd. Everytime Ms. Jolie got emotional and yelled, I stiffled tears, but the immature kids around me laughed. When a character did something triumphant there was cheering, whistling, and clapping in the crowd. I'm sorry, but they can't hear you. I can. And it's ruining my experience.
So please, if you are one of the people that like to ruin movie-goer's times, take my word to heart and please stop. The theatre is not a football game, it is a place of art that is meant to be enjoyed by everyone.
Plus, if we are paying that much to get in, we should get to at least hear the show.

So...I'm video blogging these days.

We were both young when I first saw you.

*sigh*
Is it Thursday yet?
I need it to be Thursday. After four PM though. Can you make that happen?
If you can, you're my hero.

Yesterday I found out that I made a 71 on my last history test. Even though it is a step up from my last test, it means that I have to do really good on my final to try to get a C in the class. School is so hard. Boo.

I'm just ready to get home. I don't have much to blog about because I'm just so excited that tomorrow is Thursday and that means I get to go home and I get to see Twilight. And my puppy. :)

And Kevin.

I have started to realize that it's almost Christmas break though. You know what that means? A long time without seeing my Nac friends. That will be sad. I can take it though. We lasted all summer without each other. We can do it.

Gosh...I've done nothing all day. Just sat here. I've tried to do some homework. But I think my teacher is making it up, because I can't find it in the book. Boo.

Also, I've been trying to get my dad to put the internet capabilities back on my phone so I can get ringtones. He doesn't really like the idea. Probably because I abused the privileges last time. The only reason that happened though was because I was watching whole football games on NFL Mobile when I was in Zeta meetings. I won't have to worry about that this time because I don't have those meetings, I can just watch them games on TV. :)

So daddy, I know you're going to read this. Pleaseeeee!!!

Ok...going to do more of nothing!!!

Did I wake you?

This weekend was a great weekend! Of course it was a weekend so that made it good to start with...but after the week I had...it was WELL worth it. I don't even want to go over all the stuff that happened last week...I'll just focus on the AMAZING-NESS of this weekend.
So, If you didn't know, Kevin came to visit me and to look for an apartment for next semester. Not only did that GRAND thing happen...but Kip also came to visit Marie, which was great because through the year and a half I've known Marie...I had yet to meet Kip. But I finally did...and he's coolio... :) (Watch out because he'll sing Koolio for you)

So, on Friday Kevin and I went to see Madagascar 2. Amazing movie. So funny. Usually the sequels aren't that great, but I loved it. Not only did he take me to a movie, but he took me to Marble Slab...mmmm...my favorite. :) On Saturday we woke up pretty early for a Saturday morning...in my opinion. We had lunch at IHop and then met Marie, Brandon, and Kip for the movies. We saw the new Bond flick, Quantum of Solace. I was one of the few Americans that missed out on Casino Royale...so I wasn't too excited about this movie...but they all were...so I sat through it for them. I almost fell asleep at a few parts, but it wasn't too bad. I am a sucker for British accents though...so I could handle that...and Daniel Craig's BLUE eyes. :) I miss Pierce though.

After that we decided that we were going to eat at La Carreta for dindin...but had till 5. Kevin and I drove around and looked at houses, our favorite time killer. We arrived early so we sat in the the car, next to a cactus with prickly pears on it. Kevin told me that he would go pick one for me. I thought that sounded rather sweet, so I told him ok. It was a horrible idea. It's "pricklys" get stuck in your fingers and it hurts really really bad. We both had our fingers covered and couldn't quite get them all out. Everyone else at the table thought it was a riot though...they need to just wait...one of these days they're going to be hurting and I'm going to just laugh at them. Ha. :)

That night we ended up hanging with Allison and Jeryca and walked around Hastings trying to play Rockband...but some kids wouldn't get off. So we came back to the room and watched Saw instead. Not my choice. I hated it. Again. No bad dreams though, so that's good.

Sunday we missed churh. Oops. Blame it on me. I was tired. Kevin wasn't too happy about it. Oh well. We have our whole lives to go to church. This was a great day for me though. Tony was back to play for the Cowboys! And they won! :) Kevin and I got pretty bored before the game started so we drove around and found some AMAZING houses. Very expensive looking houses. We want them all. Then we went to Pecan Park and played around on the play ground and took pictures. Today Kevin woke up early and went apartment searching. He thought he found the one he liked, but after I went to class (what would have been class, but it was cancelled) I took him to one more and we fell in love with it. Luckily they are very pet friendly and I can have Carrie and Dutchess up here with me. :) That made my already wonderful weekend even better!

I almost forgot about one of the best parts of today. Kevin, Marie, and I had a pizza picnic at the park! It was amazing. Looked beautiful. We took even more pictures.

So...I just have to get through classes all day tomorrow...Wednesday with nothing (WebCT day in Com class)...classes for Thursday...then I'm home free for Thanksgiving break! I'm pretty stoked! Not going to lie.

Oh...Kevin got his hair cut. I'm not going to lie, I was super nervous about the whole thing. He can pull off the long hair, but once it gets a certain length it's gross and way too long. I was pleasantly surprised. He looks amazing with his new hair cut. If you haven't seen it, go to my facebook and check out our new pictures.

So, gosh...great weekend! Can't wait for the rest of the semester to be over though...almost here!!!

The Best Day...

If you didn't know already, I'm am pretty much in love with Taylor Swift. Her new CD is AMAZING! I love all of the songs. My favorite is The Way I Loved You...but The Best Day is a close second. Taylor wrote it for her daddy...and I think it's a great song...So Dad, (since I know you're the only one that reads this), I dedicate this song to you.
I miss you when I'm at school!!!

I'm five years old
It's getting cold out
I've Got my big coat on


I hear your laugh
And look up at smilin at you
I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides
Look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs
And fall asleep on the way home


I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today


I'm 13 now
And don't know how
My friends could be so mean
I come home crying
And you hold me tight
And grab the keys


And we drive and drive
Until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop
Til i've forgotten all their names


I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughin
On the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today


I have an excellent father
His strengh is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother
Inside and out
He's better than I am


I grew up in a pretty house
And I had space to run
And I had the best days with you


There is a video I found
From back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen
And you're talkin to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships
And the seven dwarves
My Daddy's smart
And you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world


Now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side
Even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
Staying back and watching me shine


And I didn't know if you knew
So I'm takin this chance to say
I had the best day with you today

Of course the video I see from when I was three is just of me running around the back yard...swinging...and sliding...but it's all the same. :))

puppies = love

I'm down right now. I think all I need is my puppy.
If anyone would like to bring me Carrie I would be eternally grateful.

Thanks.