Don't let it happen again

We think we know who we are and what we're about. Even if we don't know right away, we figure it out in the end. Right?

Because sometime we think we have it all figured out the "BAM" our of nowhere something smacks us straight in the face unexpectedly. 

Maybe we never know who we are. Maybe we will never know the true us. 

I may never be too decisive about anything, but I always think I know who I am. When I make a decision, I stick to it. I try to give my heart and go with it. 

Is it all worth is?

I've had moments in my life when I knew exactly who I was and exactly who I wanted to be. That was two years ago and I now find myself to be a completely different person and I want completely different things. 

Is the thing that matters the most right now going to matter as much to me ten years down the road?

I like to think that I'm old enough now that I can make life long decisions and be fine with the results. But how will I ever know? I don't want to have to live with a mistake for the rest of my life. I know I should just give my heart and go in every aspect of my life, friends, relationships, school work, it's just hard. 

I know who I am...I love Kevin, I'm very happy with all of my friends, and I would do anything for my family...but I'm not sure if the me I know is the real me. I don't want to change, so how and I suppose to be sure it won't happen again?

I saw God today.

Today has already been a special day. I woke up at 8:30AM...yes you read that right...8:30AM. I decided that it was a great day to go eat breakfast with my girls. I loaded my laundry basket in my truck on the way to the cafeteria so I wouldn't have to make too many trips on my way out this afternoon. After breakfast I got ready and decided to go ahead and load the rest of my stuff in the car and head over to WalMart to return my redbox movie and to buy Sex and the City. After WalMart I filled up my truck and decided that I needed to reward myself for getting up early and taking care of things so I drove over to Sonic. I ordered I medium strawberry limeade and the man on the intercom asked it I wanted to make it a large so it would last longer, I figure what the heck, it's just a few more cents. After a while he walked out with my large drink in hand and I could tell he was the manager. He got to my car and this is what he said, "So, here's how this is going to work. The lady at smoothie kind earlier gave me a smoothie, so I'm going to give you a strawberry limeade. Now you have to go out and do something good for someone." After thanking him a whole bunch, probably more than a sonic drink was worth, I drove off in awe. It was just the "pick up" that I needed to make this day perfect. It's just so amazing to see how God works. I know that I have trouble with my faith, but something like this makes me realize that the world isn't all bad, that God is here. 

I can't wait till I get a chance to change someone else's day. 

I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I can't be perfect for everyone.

I'm sorry that I can't do exactly what everyone wants me to do.
I'm sorry that when I talk on the phone I don't talk for very long, I get uncomfortable.
I'm sorry that I don't always say the right things.
I'm sorry that I don't always say things when I'm supposed to.
I'm sorry that I can't make decisions all the time.
I'm sorry I get tempted.
I'm sorry I spend money like it's nobody's business.
I'm sorry that I can't make up my mind about what I want to do in life.
I'm sorry that I cut people off when they're talking.
I'm sorry that I like to sleep really late.
I'm sorry that I'm not that great at the whole "school" thing.
I'm sorry that I've not been the best friend I could be.
I'm sorry that I get hot really easily, I'm fat, that's how fat people are.
I'm sorry I'm mean a lot.
I'm sorry that I expect more from you.
I'm sorry that I don't like the same music as you.
I'm sorry that I have a past that I don't want to forget.
I'm sorry that I don't go to church in Nac.
I'm sorry that you don't like me.
I'm sorry that you think I don't like you.
I'm sorry that I'm not that school spirited.
I'm sorry that we grew apart.
I'm sorry that I don't like poetry.
I'm sorry that I can't remember useless history facts.
I'm sorry that I'm lazy.
I'm sorry I can't grow up like I need to.
I'm sorry that I can't forgive her.
I'm sorry I eat too much.
I'm sorry I can't go back and make everything right from the start.
I'm sorry I'm not her.

I'm sorry I'm not a hero.