My Memaw

My Memaw's memorial service was today and I stood up and read this. I thought that I would share it with the people that weren't able to make it to the service. Maybe if you didn't know my Memaw, this will give you a little insight to how great she was.


I’ve always considered myself a very lucky girl. Some people never get to know their grandparents. I’ve been lucky enough to live these 22 years of my life with six loving grandparents. I was Memaw’s first grandchild and even though I know she loved all 7 of us just as much as the other, I always thought we had a special bond. I owe a lot of myself to my Memaw. I not only got my long, slender fingers from her, but also my thin, impossible to hold a curl hair. She and I found a way around that curse though: a perm. I remember the first time she permed my hair. I thought my eyes were going to burn up due to the horrendous smell and chemicals floating around in the dining room. I was so happy with my bouncy locks that I let her do it a second time a few years later. Looking back now I’m not sure if it’s the curly hair I wanted, or just more one on one time with her.



I also got my love of a few things from Memaw: Elvis, Conway Twitty, Matthew McConaughey, and my papaw, Curtis Smith. I guess by a few things, I meant a few men.



One of my first crushes developed watching Nick at Nite every time I stayed the night at Memaw and Papaw’s house. Memaw and I would watch “Cheers” reruns and I thought Ted Danson was very cute and I always wanted to go somewhere were everyone knew my name and find my own Sam Malone. That’s another thing I can credit to Memaw, I can’t go to sleep without watching TV first.



I know Memaw hasn’t painted much in a very long time, but her artwork is still scattered all over my parents' house. When Christmas rolls around every year I hang up a painting of a little redheaded girl and Santa Claus that she painted my first Christmas. I’m very sad that I didn’t get any excellent painting skills from her, hopefully she passed them down to one of the grandchildren.



When I was in 8th grade I wrote a paper for a contest and won a scholarship for it. It was called “Is Freedom Really Free?”. If anyone has been in my Memaw’s kitchen they’ve seen this paper. When I had her read it for the first time she loved it so much that she asked me to sign it so she could hang it for the world to see. I don’t know if I was happier that I’d won a scholarship from the VFW or because my Memaw was so proud of my work.



Speaking of Memaw’s kitchen. She was one of the best cooks in the world. I know we all have our favorite dishes, but the one I’m going to miss the most is her enchiladas. Every year for my birthday Memaw would slave away to make this perfect dish. That was a great thing about Memaw, she always let us choose our birthday dishes. This year for my 22nd birthday she told me that she was sorry, but she just wasn’t going to do it. I was sad, but I didn’t want to pressure her into it, I knew how long it took and I should just be happy that she was cooking me anything at all. When I walked into the kitchen the day of my birthday lunch there they were. Pans and pans of cheese, beef, and, my favorite, chicken enchiladas, a big bowl of guacamole, and homemade tortilla chips. I didn’t tell Memaw then, and I hate to rat my mom out now, but Mom had told me the day before that Memaw was making the enchiladas. She was going over to help Memaw prepare everything and let it slip why she was going over there. I acted surprised nonetheless and everything was wonderful. I have the recipe for her enchiladas, but I know they will never be the same.



One of my brother’s favorite memories also involves the kitchen. But it was Memaw teaching him how to cook Spam. If I’m being honest, that was one of my favorite things she would make us too. No one can fry a piece of Spam like Memaw can. Another one of Trevor’s favorite things about Memaw was how kind she was. For example anytime that he and Christian would stay over they’d ask her after Papaw went to sleep if they could build a fort. She would always let them and would even deliver their drinks and snacks to their fort.



Every time I've walked into the kitchen the past few days I've expected to see her standing at the kitchen sink or my the stove. When I pull out my cell phone at the kitchen table I hear her tell me to put it away. And I know when Christmas comes around I'm going to be looking for her everywhere I turn. My Memaw was an amazing grandmother and friend. I will miss everything about her and I know that everyone else here will too.

Bennie and the Jets

"27 Dresses"
3 out of 5 owls
I love weddings. Everything about weddings and especially wedding movies.
This one makes me cry every time. But it hurts me to watch sometimes because I hate the little sister, Tess, so much and Jane ticks me off when she pines over George for so long.
But the awesome drunken "Bennie and the Jets" number makes up for it all.

Project: Every movie in the house

My roommates and I have decided that we're going to watch every movie in our house in alphabetical order.
All the way from "10 Things I Hate About You" to "You've Got Mail".
I will be writing about them as we watch them and rating them on a scale from 1 to 5 owls.
Here we go...

"!0 Things I Hate About You"
4 out of 5 owls
I'm a sucker for any movie based on a Shakespeare play and this one is one that I often turn to, if not only for Heath Ledger's glorious locks.

"13 Going on 30"
3 1/2 out of 5 owls
The story is really cute and it's supposed to be, but Jennifer Garner is too cutesy for me. If her personality wasn't enough, she's got those crater deep dimples to top it all off with. I love her, but this movie usually makes my teeth hurt from how sweet it is.

Next up: "27 Dresses"

One-eyed hobo

Have you ever wanted to impress someone so much that you don’t think it will ever be possible? It’s rather infuriating. The person just seems so out of reach, so out of your league, that you don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to make them go, “Wow. I want to spend more time with you”.
I think I’m a pretty interesting person, but I feel like I have a hard time conveying that to others. Most people probably see me as pretty shallow, but I have more to me. (I promise I do!) So why can’t I express all the other sides of Jordan Lea Smith to the people who seem exceptionally better than me?
I try to tell myself that these other people don’t have anything over me, that they’re just normal human beings like me, but it never fails that they will do or say something that makes me feel like an illiterate, one-eyed, hobo from a third world country. (I know that may be pushing it, but you get my point.)
So I have two options here: I can either, A) find ways to grow and better myself as an individual each and every day and hope to one day be successful and cultured enough to impress the person that I want to impress or B) try to accept me for who I am and stop trying to impress other people because in the end, people should accept me for who I am as well.
Or maybe even a combination of the two.

Falling

I feel like I’m falling. Falling into the black abyss with no knowledge of when I’m going to land. Or what I’m going to land on. I may keep on falling forever. For all of eternity.

Why isn’t there anyone catching me? Where is everyone?

Last time I was on solid ground there were millions of people around. Now as I fall down this hole no arms are reaching for me.

I feel like I’m falling.
Head over heels.
Heels over head.
Spinning and turning.
Swirling and spiraling.

Quick rant.

Why do I let people take advantage of me? Do I have a sign over my head that says "Hey everyone! Walk all over me! I love it!"? If so I need to figure out how to take it down because I really don't enjoy it. I do love being a nice person and I do love doing things for other people, but there is a point where enough is enough. Just once I'd like other people to do things for me. To think of me before themselves.
I always thought that you were supposed to treat people the way that you want to be treated. I don't know what is wrong with 95% of the population, but I wouldn't want to be treated the way they treat others. Oh wait, I already am treated that way. So why do I have to keep being the bigger person? Well, that's because I was raised better than that and would rather see myself hurt in order to help someone else.
Maybe I just need to grow a backbone.

What I like about you...er...me

5 things I like about myself

1- My sense of fashion. I like to think that I know what I'm talking about when it comes to fashion. :)

2- The love I have for my friends and family. I don't think too many people love like I do. This can be a good thing and a bad thing though.

3- My ability to forgive people. I don't forgive everyone, ok I just don't forgive a few people, but I very easily forgive people. Just apologize and I don't see why you don't deserve a second chance.

4- My movie collection. It's pretty great.

5- My hair. Even though it's not as long as I'd like it to be right now, and it rarely ever does what I want it to, I get a lot of compliments on it, so that's cool.

:)

This was hard. I think I realized I don't like too dang much about myself.