Last time around

Have you ever not been able to get over someone or something? No matter what you do, how long it's been, and how hard you try you just cant move on?

I hate that feeling. 

"But every step I take that leads me away just circles back to your door."

I hate the feeling because I know the other person doesn't feel the same and probably never will. 

But if I know this, why cant I move on? I'm a smart person, why doesn't my brain grasp the fact that I'm wasting my time and move on?

I haven't seen this person in over two years. He's told me to move on. He's also told me that he appreciates that I'm always there for him. 

What is the right remedy for getting over someone? It's like a disease, so there has to be a prescription to surgery to get rid of it. 

In other news...

I've decided that I'm going to eat healthy. Not SUPER healthy...but gonna change a few things. Like last night I had green beans and water for supper. I think I'm going to do that Special K diet. Replacing a meal a day with Special K. Something to try I suppose. And I have to come up with some kind of exercise that I can do without wanting to kill myself while doing it. I know I won't go to the gym everyday. I know I won't salsa dance everyday in my living room. I need something simple, easy, yet effective. 

I'll figure something out. 

I cant wait for the Super Bowl! Peyton Manning is going to rock it! I'm having a party...of course. I can't remember the last time that I didn't have one. And this year it's in my own apartment so it's going to be awesome! Meagan and I are planning on making decorations and such. Gonna have chip and cheese dip. Don't think there's anything else that we need. 

Well we of course need the Colts to win!!!

(Which they will.)

Off to class. 

You've Got Mail

"There is the dream of someone else." -Kathleen Kelly- "You've Got Mail"

Sometimes in this world all I need is to watch chick flicks and lay around in my pjs. Today is one of those days. This week has been one of those weeks. I've realized that I'm not who I thought I was. Or maybe that I am exactly who I thought I was, just no one else knows who I am. 

Wow...that made no sense. But that's basically how I've been feeling lately. Like I make no sense and that the things around me make no sense. 

I'm not sure if it's because I'm just bored out of my mind or if I'm just so fed up with boys and their crap, but hey, none of that is new. 

I watched "Julie and Julia" the other day. I didn't care for the movie too much, but I loved the idea of it. Julie cooked her way through Julia Child's cookbook and blogged about it. She had a reason to get up and get going every single day. She had a goal and she needed to reach it. I need something like that; I need a goal that I can see myself reaching every single day. I already have a few goals: graduating from college, paying rent, getting married, etc...but they're not the kind of goals I can see myself reaching towards every day and seeing the progress that I'm making. 

I can't do the cooking thing because I don't make enough money to go out and buy all the ingredients, but I need something. So, I am opening myself up to ideas. I'm tired of having down-in-the-dump days when I feel like I have nothing to live for. I'm tired of crying over the smallest things because I'm bored with nothing to do. 

So, someone help me think of a goal that I can set a deadline to and work at every day. Something that will make me feel good about myself. I'll blog about it daily, promise. :)