Can a boy and a girl just be friends? Can they have a friendship that's just, "Hey, you're my buddy that I like to talk to and hang out with"? Can they hang out with each other without other friends without being suspected of a secret romance? It is possible isn't it?
I believe it is, but I may be wrong. I just need to make sure that what I believe is true.
I like to think that I have a lot of friends, boys and girls alike. I'm not romantically attracted to 95.8% of my guy friends and obviously I'm not interested in dating 101% of my girl friends, so why can't I have one on one alone time with any of them that I choose to?
Some people think differently than I do and that really bugs me. I really don't think that an outside person should be able to tell me who I do and don't hang out with.
I've needed to blog for a long time. Luckily I've built up some emotion so I can let it all out now.
I've learned that I don't like being told what to do. Tell me what to do and unless you are some authority figure, I will probably do the opposite of what you say. I don't like to listen to my friends when they tell me who to and not to date. I don't like to listen to my co-workers when they tell me what to do (Hello, if you were my boss you wouldn't have the same job as me). I don't like to listen to my parents tell me to do chores.
I realize that I need to do some of these things, (I always end up doing my chores, but for the sake of argument I'm stating that I don't like to) and some of them get taken care of. But really, don't boss me around. By all means tell me your opinion. I would love to hear it. I'm not in any way perfect so I need all the help I can get to live my life, but you telling me exactly what to do is not helping anyone. It just makes me angry and makes you look like an idiot.
No, I'm not talking to anyone in particular. I've had many people do this to me lately. I ask for their opinion and they go overboard. Then it puts me in an interesting spot. I can either A) listen to their advice and do what they say so I won't hurt their feelings, but it may not make me completely happy, or B) don't do what they say and hurt their feelings, consequently losing a friendship and either being happy or not, who knows. So, when your opinion is called upon make sure you only give me your opinion, not a written out "How-to" manual on "How-to live Jordan's life". Trust me, if there was a good enough one of those I'd done read it by now.
I'm trying something new these days. I'm trying to be a nicer person. But I've learned that in this day and age it is extremely difficult to be sweet to everyone you associate with. It very hard to say something nice all the time. I've become so accustomed to having a sarcastic or witty comment after everything someone says that they just fly out of my mouth without me even thinking about it first.
This is quite a downfall in some cases.
I anger my mom quite frequently with this new talent of mine. I also see it in my friends faces after I say something that hurts them.
I don't know if it's because of what I watch on the TV or what I imagine to be the perfect lady that everyone wants me to be. But I do know that something needs to change in my life. I know that because I'm not happy.
I've been happy before. I've been rather content a couple times in my life. This time is not one of them. I know I'm loved. I know people care for me. I know people would hate to see me gone. But I just feel empty and alone 90% of the time. That's a lot for someone that seems so outwardly happy.
I've gone and turned this into a soap box and I'm sorry. I just needed to get a few things out on cyber paper.
