I personally think that old ones hurt the worse. Because you aren't prepared to feel the pain again. You think you're over it. You think you've moved on. But your heart hasn't. It's not completely healed. I guess it takes the heart a little more time than your mind to forget about something someone has done to you.
Why do you suppose it hurts so much? Who decided that when someone does someone else wrong that it would send automatic shocks of pain through their heart? I mean that's pretty harsh. It's like throwing lightning bolts straight through my chest. And it doesn't help that it comes with tears. Lots of tears. More tears than my pillow is meant to hold.
Have you also noticed that when said breaking of the heart happens that every single memory of that person that committed the crime come rushing back like a waterfall? There's no stopping it. You remember every amazing and horrible thing about that person. And you don't want to. You just want to get some sleep and dream about happy times. But you can't. You are forced to sit up and rummage through old boxes of memories that you'd thought you'd locked in the basement of your (once-again) tormented brain.
For future reference God, when you are making people, or even just women, make their hearts less breakable. It would save us a lot of pain.
(Talking to the mirror, whispering your name. It's just like you were here. You'd think I was insane. I hold these conversations in the silence of my room, rehearsing all the things I'd say, should I run into you. How's it going, might be what I'd say. You broke my heart you know, or it looks like rain today. Or God I've missed since you went away. You're looking well or go to hell, might be what I'd say. There's time I've been so angry i could put my fist right through the wall and then there's times I've come so close to giving you a call. I love you and I hate you all at the same time and then I pray you'll come back to me before I lose my mind. -Gary Allan)
