Too many dreams were broken

I think my life is holding me back. 

I have dreams bigger than Texas. 

Yet here I am, trying to make it in this world. 

I dream of being able to dance like this:

I dream of being able to sing like this:

I dream of being able to act like this:

I dream of looking like this:

I dream of being an amazing mother of four. 

I dream of wearing Manolo Blahniks while walking down 5th Avenue.

I dream of winning the Best Actress award at the Oscars. 

I dream of having super powers. 

I'm afraid that I'm letting everyone down by not dancing like that, not singing like that, not acting like that, not looking like that. 

I'm afraid that everyone had an idea of how I was going to end up. 

And I'm not heading that way. 

I feel that I don't have my head on my shoulders. 

I feel that everything isn't right. 

I feel that there's more that I could do, but I just can't do it. 

I try to live up to everyone's expectations. 

I feel that I fail. 

I'm not saying that I don't love my life...

I'm saying that I would love my life more if it was working out like I'd planned. 

I'd always thought by now I would be engaged, preparing to be married.

Even though Kevin and I have discussed marriage, I don't think I'm any closer to it than if I was single. 

I never thought I would be a waitress. 

I don't really like it. 

Customers look at me like I'm insignificant in the world. 

Like I'm not special to anyone. 

Like my only purpose in life is to make sure their fajitas are on their table and their tea is full. 

I'd always thought I would do great in school. 

School chews me up and eats me for dinner. 

I'd always thought I would be in Hollywood by now.

But, alas...here I am...sitting in the Baker Pattillo Student Center at Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches, Texas.

Far away from my dreams.