I used to know this song by heart

I think it has finally hit me. The complete sadness...heartache...feeling of failure. It's taken five days. I think that's pretty good. I mean, it was bad at first. Crying, yelling, punishing myself and others around me, but I quickly shook it off and hid it deep down. Now it has come back. It's keeping me awake, it's crowding my mind. I try to think of other things but I can only think of how I have, once again, failed at my attempt for a love life.
People warned me. I'd been down this road before. I didn't enjoy it then, why would it be any different the second, third, fourth, time?
How can I have this entire relationship built up in my mind and he have nothing?
I find it hard to believe that he can see the world through completely different eyes.
I'm tired of living in my own world where I think everything will work out. I need someone to pull me to the ground and help me have a real relationship. A relationship where feelings are shared, and even though hard times are had, love still prevails.
I may be young, but I want the future. I'm not the kind of person that can live from day to day. I'm not the kind of person who can run around willy nilly and meet new people every night. I'm not meant for the dating "scene".
I'm meant to find a man and fall in love with him.
And he with me.
I'm meant to love the same man for all of my life.
Yet I always drag myself down to the ground and make myself feel minuscule and hopeless. Helpless even.
Is it too much to ask that I find that one person soon?
Is it too much to ask that it's easier?
I know that there are people out there that are older than me that can't find the man of their dreams and I should be happy that I'm only 20...but I just can't be.
I can't be happy with myself without a "better half".
I'm not who I want to be without someone that wants me.
I know that I'm loved. I have a wonderful family that would do anything for me and that don't want to see me hurt. I have great friends that would be there for me anytime of the day.
And I know that I have someone that's written in the books for me...I just wish he'd find his way to me quicker.
I'm getting a little tired of waiting.